I once had a conversation with a friend of mine who told me that many moms don’t give their husbands/spouses credit for understanding how tough the job of being a mom is. He told me that contrary to what many moms believe, most husbands/spouses have an immensely deep respect for what their wives do as moms, and admitted that part of the problem is that many spouses have never really told their wives, out loud, how they really feel. And so, I thought I would try an experiment – I wanted to give my friends a chance to voice how they feel about their wives/spouses. To do so, I posted the following call out on my Facebook wall:
Dads [later clarified as anyone who is connected to a mom with a child in common], I would love it if you answered this for me via private message: “My wife, in her role as a mom, inspires me because/by [fill in the blank].”
I received such amazing responses which covered several key themes. In short, it all can be summarized by the following statement – our husbands/spouses know that what we do is NOT easy. But if we further explore what this means, here is what I found out:
- They are amazed at our ability to keep everything from really falling apart and are impressed that we do it (mostly) without complaint.
- They understand that we, as moms, have a very important connection with our kids that allow us to communicate openly and objectively with our children in a way that is different than theirs.
- They truly believe that we make both them and their kids better people.
- They understand that we believe in them and in the kids, and are willing to do what it takes to help them reach their potential.
- They love us because we support and nurture amazing children who ultimately turn into great people.
- They love us because we are the mothers of their children; because we keep their kids safe, secure, and loved.
- Our spouses love us because we keep them grounded.
Most importantly, through all of this, I learned that my friends themselves are amazing dads and spouses; ones who understand that PARENTHOOD is a long and difficult journey, and that without their wives, staying on course would be much more difficult. They believe that together as a team, we/you are able to more confidently put one foot in front of the other in hopes that we choose the right path for our and our kids’ futures.
So, in the spirit of openness, below is an excerpt of the responses I received. Thank you to everyone who responded – your wives are as lucky to have you, as you are to have them. Behind it all, your children are truly blessed to have you both:
My wife, in her role as a mom, inspires me because she remembers to take care of herself, and reminds me when I forget. (Fellow CT Working Mom, Sharlene, Meriden, CT)
My wife, in her role as a mom, inspires me because she makes it look effortless. (Chris, New Milford, CT)
My wife, in her role as a mom, inspires me because she always puts the kids before herself, no matter what. (Scott, Port Allegany, PA)
My wife, in her role as a mom, inspires me because she continues to be a positive role model to my daughters, she continues to want to grow and learn, and she continues to push us all to be better than we give ourselves credit for. She’s got such a great attitude and always wants the best for us, even when we disappoint her. (Darin, Clermont, IA)
My wife, as a mom, inspires me with her uncanny ability to get my daughters to open up to her about their problems and the things that make them sad – but also, more importantly, her ability to make them feel better. (Chris, Richmond, VA)
I married Joy because I knew she would be a perfect mother to our kids; she took such good care of me. I am in awe of her motherly love and ability. (Gidge, Tuscon, AZ)