Here’s a glimpse into a few truths of mine from this single parent life.
- I clean when I have the time and energy but I’ve realized I’ve become someone who runs the dishwasher and doesn’t unload it promptly, let’s the dirty dishes pile up in the sink (and on the counter), eventually unloads the clean dishes and loads the dirty dishes only to realize it’s full and I have to run it again. I don’t even care. There is such little down time in single parenting life and
sometimesmost days I just don’t have the energy after a full day of work and being “on” as a parent to handle the dishes.
- I love having kids over for play dates. I fairly frequently invite my daughter’s friends over to spend time with her on our weekends together. This is in part to give my girlfriends a little break from parenting and because my daughter loves to see her friends but the truth is I LOVE PLAY DATES BECAUSE I GET A BREAK! This may seem counter-intuitive, doesn’t MORE kids in the house mean more work? Nope. My daughter is an only-child so I am always on as a single parent. When she has friends over they entertain each other and I can get stuff done around the house or even read a book. SEND YOUR KIDS OVER PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
- Speaking of play dates… one of the best things you can do for your single parent friends is to ask to have their kid(s) over to your place for a play date! The kind of play date in which mama gets to leave, just for clarity. Over the past 2 years my good friend Katie has helped me out when I am desperate for a break. I have had to learn to speak up and ask for help (which is hella hard for me) but when I do she never hesitates to say yes to having my girl over for a few hours to I can catch up on rest.
- OK ya’ll, this one is hard to write. I’ve realized that even though I’m a grown adult with a child of my own, I still have to rely on my parents for things some times. Before the divorce I was really proud that I was self-sufficient and very rarely needed to ask my parents for help. But life as a single-income person supporting a child is challenging. That compounded by the fact that a year ago I took a $20,000 pay cut because of budget cuts has meant that my parents have helped me with buying clothes for my daughter, among other things. I am so fortunate to have parents that are in my life and willing and able to help. Why can’t I accept the help and not feel guilty? That’s probably another post for another day.
- My last confession for today is this… I am SO HAPPY to be divorced! The divorce process was so hard and so painful but I always knew it was the right choice and that helped me get through. What I couldn’t see then that I know to be true now is that my life got so much better. I feel much more like myself and that feels soooooo good.