Ways Kids are Like Drunk Elves: Part 2

A couple years ago I wrote about how having a toddler was like having a drunk elf around the house.  Now that we have two little elves around, I’m finding more ways they are similar.

First, let me begin with one Wikipedia definition of an elf:

In medieval Germanic-speaking cultures, elves seem generally to have been thought of as a group of beings with magical powers and supernatural beauty, ambivalent towards everyday people and capable of either helping or hindering them.

I highlighted the last few words because, you  know, perfect description of children. We all know how “helpful” they can be around the house. Especially during this time of year of baking, decorating, and all around family fun.

electric elf

Here some more ways they are alike:

*They have diarrhea of the mouth. My four year old loves to spew the first thing that comes to her mind, leaving us to pick up the pieces of her verbal destruction.  What are those dots on his face?  Why does she have wrinkles on her hands? Why, why, what, why, why?!?!  They have the same uninhibited nature as a drunk elf.

*They always seem to have a case of the Midnight Munchies.  My husband has to deal with this more  often since he puts our daughter to bed at night. I can’t help but chuckle every time I hear him sigh with frustration when she sends him downstairs for a snack.  She has perfected the whole resisting-bedtime-by-feigning-starvation routine.

*They bite, pinch, and grab like little evil creatures. I wince at the thought of being on the receiving end of a baby’s pincer grasp.  Oh the pain!  It rivals two little baby teeth repeatedly puncturing your arm. (Or maybe it’s just my little elf who does this?)

I'm laughing because I just tried to bite a dog.  LMAO
I’m laughing because I just tried to nibble on a dog’s tail.  LOL.

*They make you chase them around the house. And sometimes I don’t bother running after them. Good thing for baby gates.

*They eat all the candy in the house and leave remnants on the floor for you to step on.  This evening it was a candy cane that broke into a million pieces.  Eh, the baby will lick it up.

*They are deceivingly cute and cuddly, and then BOOM, they jump on your head when you least expect it.

Co-conspirators of chaos
Co-conspirators of chaos

*They are up and ready to party at 2 am.

*The holidays are way more FUN with them around.  You never know what to expect.

*Santa is the only one who can whip their little tushies into shape.  I hate to admit this, but the whole “Santa’s Watching” tactic has been pretty darn effective in our home lately.



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