A Few Confessions

In honor of Moms4moms day, I am sharing a few of my recent mom-fessions. Remember to love more and judge less!

When my daughter asked me how she got out of me when she was born, I told her I sneezed her out. In my defense, she’s only 5 and caught me a little off guard. I’ll fix it later.

I am the worst when it comes to playing with dolls and especially Barbies. I secretly want to see them succumb to a tragic accident involving the kerosene heater one day. I’m not sure if it’s that I lack imagination or patience. Possibly both.

I hate homework. Actually, I hate helping with homework. I hated it when it was mine to do, but I hate it even more when it involves cutting and gluing and crying. I just can’t wait for when the math homework starts to get really hard. I never make her do the online “game” homework she has to do either. I just can’t stand the crying! (I’m the one crying.)

I STILL want to pluck that unibrow of hers. (See my other confessions.) Yes, I know. I’m. Awful.

I secretly love that my little one is jealous of all the “pretty clothes” in my closet. No one is ever jealous of my mom wardrobe! It won’t be too long before she rolls her eyes and tells me I have the taste of an old lady.

I owe my mom an apology. When Zoey puts her hand up while I’m busting out my version of “Let it Go” in the car and tells me “Stop. Stop singing Mommy!” it stings. I used to do this to my mom all the time. I would even move away from her at church while she sang. At church! (Oh yeah, it went around, now it’s coming around, Mom. Love you.)

When Zoey started kindergarten there was an art fundraiser sent home. Each child drew an animal and you could purchase merchandise with the art printed on it. Zoey’s drawing was really good. Too good. I didn’t believe she drew it. I thought it was a gimmick to get you to buy stuff, that maybe she colored in a frog. In the chaos of the start of the school year I tossed the fundraiser and didn’t give it a second thought. Well, this week Zo was selected to be one of four kindergarten students from her school to have a drawing displayed in a town-wide art show. Guess which drawing was selected? Yep, the green frog. She really did draw it and it’s really good. So I’m carrying a bit of mommy-shame that I didn’t have faith in my daughter’s abilities. Never gonna happen again.

You’ll be happy to know, I’ve stopped stealing money for Starbucks from her piggy bank…

6 thoughts on “A Few Confessions

  1. Oh my God. This is hysterical. I literally laughed out loud several times! Thank you for nailing that “pretty clothes” thing. You are seriously so funny and I want you to do more of these posts! (My Momfession? I am elbowing my kid as I comment because she’s battling for my iPad.)

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