This and that

I’m having a hard time settling on just one topic to discuss here today, so instead I’m going to throw it all out there. My brain is cluttered. You’re welcome!

1. Morning routines. Is everyone else yelling a lot in the morning or just me? I have created adorable little checklists to help remind the girls what we do (every. single. morning. of. their. lives.) and it does help them at bedtime. Potty? Check! Wipe and flush? You got it! Wash hands and brush teeth? WINNING!In the morning, however, they are teeny, sleepy slugs with amnesia. Cannot move faster than one millimeter per hour. PER HOUR. We have a pretty tight timeline in the morning and it doesn’t matter how early I get them up. It’s slug city up in here. Which almost always lends itself to me barking, “We’re late! Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth. BRUSH YOUR TEEEEEEEEEEETH!!!!!”  This morning, for example, Olivia was just finishing up on the potty when I gathered all of our stuff for the car, walked out to the car, unlocked it, turned it on, placed all of our stuff in the car, cleaned random papers and old sippies out of the car, threw them in the trash, came back into the house, took my boots off, poured coffee into my travel mug and then walked back to the bathroom to check on her. In that time, she had… wiped. NOT EVEN FLUSHED YET. OMG PULL UP YOUR PANTS, FLUSH THE TOILET, WASH YOUR HANDS AND BRUSH YOUR TEEEEEEEEETH!!!!! Ahem. So, that’s not going as well as I’d like. Suggestions?

2.Half birthdays. Do you celebrate these? If you do, can you explain why? I… don’t get it. I’ve heard of some people whose children have birthdays close to the holidays so they celebrate on their half in the summer instead. But, then I heard of people whose children have summer birthdays so they celebrate on their half birthdays in the winter so school friends can attend parties. So. Um. None of this makes sense to me. Your birthday is your birthday and that’s the date we celebrate. Just the one time. Per year. Help me understand this half birthday business.

3. Audrey sleep shenanigans update.  My sleep issues with Audrey have been documentedfar and wide. To any and everyone who will (pretend to) listen. I should not update this because obviously, the first rule in parenting is that the second you talk about a great milestone: boom. Regression city. But, in case it gives any other poor, exhausted mother a shred of hope, I have to do it. We have crossed a bridge, people. A long, bleary-eyed, coffee-filled, tear-stained bridge. The child who, for two solid years, would take hours to even FALL asleep and then still wake multiple times per night for no discernible reason other than to test me to the very core, now routinely kicks me out of her room after her books with the following commands, “Leave my door open and go away.” I KNOW. And then? AND THEN???? SHE SLEEPS ALL THE LIVELONG NIGHT. I don’t understand this child and I admit to you right now that the chances are very high that I never will. But, I love her and her new sleep orders and I will TAKE IT.

4. Audrey [other] shenanigans. It can’t all be sleep and happiness. Yesterday she decided it was a good idea to stick a goldfish cracker up her nose. Sigh.

What, I'm not supposed to eat the Amulet of Avalor?
What, I’m not supposed to eat the Amulet of Avalor?

5. Whole 30. I’m on day 26 of the Whole 30. My eating habits needed an overhaul like whoa. Why is it so hard? I like all of the food I’m eating and I like that it forces me to meal plan. I like that I’m much more aware of how much JUNK is in a lot of the food I feed my family. I mean, I don’t like that it’s there, but I like that I’m (slightly) educated on it so I can make better choices. And I like that I’m losing some weight (you’re not supposed to weigh yourself during this, but guess what? I DO AND I REGRET NOTHING.). But, I really miss cream and sugar in my coffee. Like, I dream about it. Speaking of dreams…

6. Is anyone a dream expert? Because the other night I had a dream that I was at an arcade with Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. And Mr. T had lobster claws for hands. I don’t remember the rest but, WHAT THE WHAT?!

What’s rolling around in your brain today?

12 thoughts on “This and that

  1. I agree with Jenn, Steph. On the mornings when I have a little extra time to just spend with Zoey rather than screaming at her to hurry up, it runs much more smoothly. Sometimes I just sit and color with her for a second or a few extra snuggle minutes. I hate mornings; they’re fucking crazy so I feel your pain. (Disclaimer: this extra Z time rarely happens. But when it does, it helps!)

  2. 1. I don’t know HOW but somehow we’ve got a great thing going in the morning. And they’ve even started sleeping in until 5:30 or 6am!!! We leave the house at 6:45am and I’m on my own with them from 6:15am – 6:45am so it’s tough, but like I said, we’ve got a routine going. Get up, drink milk in bed to ease into the day (these seems to have eliminated the tantrums!), clothes, teeth, hair, shoes, and GO! Breakfast in the car. I made sure to brainstorm with her about what might make her a little happier in the morning and I suggested some milk to fill her belly and ease her into the day might make her less crabby. Also – she can do NOTHING until her getting ready is done and then she can play until I’m ready to go.
    2. I’m not into half birthdays. My kids are born exactly (almost to the day) 2.5 years apart, so I am celebrating every 6 months as it is.

  3. Thank you for making me smile today! I love CT working Moms Blag and I look forward to reading it. PS: Isn’t it funny how women’s brains work? The way that you wrote this blog is exactly how my train of thought go every day 🙂

  4. We dont do half birthdays..but the bithday boy/girl does buy a small gift for their sibling. Its hard being the brother or siister on birthday…..lots of presents and attention for one…and zip/nada for the other.
    I had never really thought of doing half birthday…mine falls mid summer…..about 6 months after Christmas….good planning mum and dad…lol

  5. Enlighting stuff here, Steph. Yeah…. mornings….. bane of my existence. No matter how early i try to get the damn process going, we are in the same boat every day!!! And what is this whole whole 30 biz? do tell!

  6. We celebrate only the kids’ half birthdays but it’s secretly because I always want cupcakes. It’s all a ploy for more guilt-free desserts. And if it’s for the kids then who am I to say no?! 😉 And I secretly want chickens too, but I told Dave not until Josh is potty trained because I will not clean even one OUNCE more poop than I am already cleaning.

  7. Does this mean, now that Audrey is sleeping, that I stand some shot at another baby in your house to cuddle?
    Tom? Chickens, really? Although Hunter would really enjoy that 😉

  8. OMG I’m so effing tired, you give me hope. In related news…I’ve grown accustomed to sleeping on a 1/4 of a twin mattress with blond fuzzy hair up my nose.

  9. 1) Michael has recently started some crazy am routine of crying before I leave…fun, right?
    2) I announced to Rob I’m switching to my half birthday (6/23 to avoid competing with Jesus…he laughed at me.)
    3) Not even going to talk about it….see my am pix today
    4) we have entered the world of, swipe/slam food all over the floor “I’m sorry” BS…I feel your pain
    5) really Tom??? you don’t have enough to manage???
    6) you rock the whole 30!!!!
    7) you dream? I can’t remember anything when I wake up except, damn, sleep used to be good.
    😉

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