Parenting Injuries

Friday night, in an act of exuberance that only a spazzed-out 5-year old can display right before bedtime, Zoey punched me in the eye.  Yup.  Somehow, when I went in for a hug, she flailed her arms and her nails got under my eyelid.  Oh the agony.  I sucked it up, went and took my contacts out and finished the bedtime routine without yelling the string of expletives I really wanted to use.  Five days later and it finally stopped hurting but it’s still really red and gross.

Parenting hurts!
Parenting hurts!

It’s not the first time in my short life as a mom that I’ve been “injured” by my child.  When she was around 2 ½ and she wacked me in the eye with a wooden spoon.  I totally deserved that one though.  I mean, what kind of idiot gets her face that close to a terrorist toddler while she has a weapon spoon in her hands?

It got me thinking though, as parents, we are constantly putting our bodies in the line of fire.  We hear all the time about the toll child bearing has on our bodies, but what about in the years that follow?  I have been covered with bruises and scrapes since the day she came home from the hospital.  At first, the knocks were the result of walking around like a zombie due to infant-induced sleep deprivation.  (Who put that coffee table there?)  Then, as she got more mobile, I became the best kind of jungle gym to be constantly climbed on, bounced on and jumped off of.   Have you ever been head-butted by a wiggly toddler in the middle of a temper tantrum?  I have.  Multiple times.  Lately, one of her favorite games seems to be “Does this hurt?  How ’bout this?” while pinching or poking me.  I’m not sure why this is fun, but she thinks it’s hysterical.  

My husband isn’t safe from the injuries either. Many times he has asked “Why do little knees always find the softest spots?”  He’s considered wearing a cup just for sitting on the couch. Some days, parenting is just that physical.  It’s a true contact sport.  But given the alternative, I wouldn’t trade a single bruise or broken blood vessel.   It’s all part of the joys of being a mom.  I love that my daughter feels her emotions so strongly that she can’t contain herself, no matter if it’s an angry outburst of flailing arms or an excited jumping up and down-on my foot.  The plus side to parenting injuries are the boo-boo kisses and hugs I get in the aftermath.   I just need to learn to duck and cover.  And maybe wear a helmet and goggles.

13 thoughts on “Parenting Injuries

  1. I thought I would fall out from the comment, “in an act of exuberance that only a spazzed-out 5-year old can display right before bedtime”. What is it that causes them to turn into the Tasmanian Devil just before time to lay down? The spoon incident was priceless too. Thanks for sharing. It’s funny because we can relate!

    1. Glad you liked it and I’m sorry you can relate! Yes, for some reason bedtime isn’t that calm, soothing time I dreamed of before I had a child. It’s actually the most likely time for one of us to end up in tears! LOL

  2. Yep. My son jumped up just as I was bending down and hit me under the chin. I bit my tongue and I think I spat out a pint of blood. It was very gross.

  3. My five-year old recently leaned in to give me a big hug, and I ended up with a bloody lip. Also, all summer long my girls would walk across my toes (in my flip flops) with their Keens on….it would rip the skin off the top of my toes and really, really hurt!!!

    1. Yikes! Sometimes I think the problem is that they don’t know their own strength. Cause and effect are lost on these little ones! Thanks for sharing Sarah!

  4. Preach it! Ditto! Perhaps the most underestimated challenge of parenting for me, the physicality of it all. At 6 and 5, we still buy ice packs in bulk, and need them as often as they do!

  5. I shared this story Saturday night about 3 year olds: I had to have a root canal because I was head butted! the server over heard me and told me that a 3 year old broke her nose! Full contact sport to be sure.

    1. Ouch! I always worried that my nose would get broken during the co-sleeping years. She was such a thrasher! Glad (really?) that you can relate!

  6. Multiple times my daughter has hit me in the teeth (not on purpose). This usually happens when I pick her up and she flings her body backwards. Just this past week this happened and if I hadn’t reacted as quickly as I did, I’m pretty sure I would have lost a tooth. Big head + toddler speed = bad news for mama! I hear you! Glad you are a-ok now 🙂

    1. Oh! I forgot about the teeth! I used to get whacked in the choppers all the time. I swear, we’ll have the battle scars to tell stories about should we survive! LOL

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