Five words no Mom likes to hear.

1. Vomit.

This one is self-explanatory.  Although I’ll take this opportunity to offer a few tips.  To remove the smell of vomit from a car seat wash the pad in vinegar and baking soda in hot water.  You can spray and scrub the car seat straps in vinegar as well.  Also, always have a barf bag when taking a car trip longer than two hours, otherwise your kid might end up puking in her sister’s hat.  Not that I’m speaking from experience here.

2. Where.

Where did I leave my keys? Where’s my doll?  Where are we going?  Where is the vomit?

Questions that start with where typically result in more work for moms.  Unless of course the question is: Where are we going on our girls weekend?  This question is also sometimes disguised as in, “Have you seen my wallet?” or “I can’t find my shoe.”  Beware, those ones are tricky.

photo 1
A recent email exchange between Honey and I.


3. Fair.

In the words of esteemed scholar Rob Lowe, Nothing in life is unfair.  It’s just life.  Kitten has taken to saying “no fair” lately.  She’ll use the expression for anything from not getting to eat another piece of cheese to needing a diaper change.  I think this fall we’ll take a family trip to the Big E and I’ll hop out of the car and proclaim “Now this is fair.”

4. Bedtime.

This word is a blessing and a curse.  On the other side of bedtime is quiet in the house, time with Honey, TV without catchy theme songs, and occasionally alcohol.  Sometimes the hour or so between dinner and bedtime seems like days, and then there’s the actual process of bedtime.  The ritual of bedtime can be cheerful and fun, filled with stories, cuddles, and laughs or it can be excruciating filled with tantrums, fights, and tears.  The beauty of bedtime is you never have any idea which one you’ll get.

5. Laundry.

Oh, the laundry. The dirty little secret no one told you about parenting.  It’s never-ending.  I hate it.  Although my new washer and dryer sing to me, which makes it slightly more tolerable.  If I ever win the lottery you can bet your sweet patootie I’ll be hiring a laundress.  All the clothes will magically appear cleaned and pressed hanging in the closet or folded in the drawer.  That’ll be the day.

Bonus word:  Annoying.

Imagine for a moment Lovey entering my room at 6AM to announce in the whiniest voice imaginable “Kitten is being annnoooyying. She won’t stop calling me sweetheart.”  You wanna now what’s annoying?  That Lovey woke me up at 6AM to tell me she thinks her sister having a term of endearment for her is annoying.

Do you have any words you hate to hear as a Mom?

6 thoughts on “Five words no Mom likes to hear.

  1. This was hilarious. I love your writing style, Cora. The words I hated most were “Shut up!” MOS-32 modified that to “Hush up,” and it made all the difference.

  2. Ha! Great list! I would like to add “why” to this list to as I am getting that question ALL the time now! A little bit of the word “why” is cool but it starts to get close to your bonus word when asked over and over and over again. 😛

  3. This is great!! One thing about what to do if a child vomits on the car seat…check your manual first. In most cases using vinegar is too caustic for the straps and will interfere with their ability to hold in an accident. It may be necessary to order new straps… I’m a huge vinegar/baking soda cleaning advocate, but this is an exception.

    1. ditto. your carseat manual will tell you how to wash the cover (and to dry it – most can’t go in the dryer) and will probably say to use mild soap on the straps. The sun is also an amazing (and allowed) tool for getting smells and stains out!

  4. Haha Cora – this is hilarious! I agree, those are some of the most annoying words ever. Thanks for the barf tips too.

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