Hate the Way your Husband Dresses? Have More Sex.

The other day, while eating lunch, I had an extremely interesting conversation with my BFF. You see, both of us have dabbled, both academically and professionally, in the art of survey research. We both appreciate the strength of a well thought out hypothesis, and get giggly over p-values, alternate hypotheses, and the importance of statistical significance. Therefore, we have great confidence that the theories we formulate are, well…true!

So back to our lunch. Our conversation was fueled by a particular middle-aged man that we both know, professionally and socially. This gentleman is a well-dressed worker, donning coordinating suits, snazzy shoes, and silk ties. In essence, the man in question looks good at work. However, take him out of a work setting and hello, stone-washed, dad jeans, worn out sports tee-shirts, circa 1985, and white New Balance sneakers. Very Steve Carrell in ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love.’

Why? Why is it that working dads can look so dapper and hip in a professional setting, but take them out of the office and you have yourself a bad case of frumpy-working-dad-syndrome? There is much ridicule about “mom jeans” and the importance of women looking good post baby, and not ‘letting themselves go’ but what about dads? I believe that dads struggle with their image when they are transitioning to parenthood. Are any ladies out there struggling with a husband who is a horrible social dresser?

Try as you might, does your husband continue to wear stone washed jeans, which happen to be the same pair he had in college? Are his sneakers horrible tacky? Does he think that the Larry Bird shirt that he got when the Celtics won the NBA Championship in 1986 is cool? Are you frustrated and fed up? I don’t blame you!

Well, after some anthropological observations and inconspicuous questioning, here is your solution…wait for it…have more sex. Yes, that’s right, have more sex!! Not just normal, boring, sex…but crazy, wild, passionate sex! Here is the hypothesis, and neither me nor my BFF can find one example, which would cause us to formulate a null hypothesis:

The more a man enjoys and has passionate sex with his partner, the more likely he is to be a better social dresser. Men who are not getting enough, or who are bored, are much more likely to slide into frumpy-dad-syndrome. Sorry ladies, but this seems to be the reality.

So now you are getting defensive, “wait, this bitch is blaming me for the reason my husband is a bad dresser?”

No, take a minute and stop and think. Having great sex benefits you doesn’t it? Oh. Hell. Yes! So you get something wonderful out of it, your marriage is improved and your husband feels more confident and suave, which makes him much less likely to toss on his faded, pleated khakis and stretched out three button polo the next time the two of you have a date night.

This Saturday afternoon my husband wore his vintage Penguin, short sleeve button down with his blue canvas chukka boots…just sayin ladies!

Is your husband the exception? Do you rock his world night after night, only to get ready for dinner on Friday to see him in his worn out white New Balance sneakers? Please, please, let me know if I’m wrong and I would be happy to re-formulate.

Until then, stop complaining about his tacky clothes and start having good sex!



4 thoughts on “Hate the Way your Husband Dresses? Have More Sex.

  1. Clearly, I agree. And here’s the thing, the key components to being a good dresser are knowing what works for you, and being adventurous/ not being afraid to try new things. Hello?!? Are those not the top contributors to a fun and healthy sex life?!? I guess that’s more of an exclamation than a question but I would love to know what people think 🙂

  2. Any post that has SEX in the title catches my attention! Sarah, I LOVE this post. Though I have to say I’m a lucky one who’s hubby knows how to look nice. Before kids, one of our favorite things to do together was go out for lunch, have a couple of beers and go clothes shopping. (He cooks AND likes shopping for clothes? I was SURE he was gay when we first met!) But I’m going to say YES, have SEX! In fact, I think we could title this post “Hate ANYTHING your husband does? Have more sex!” Sex CAN cure anything. Rock on, Sister!

  3. Oh man. I have a million things I want to say but my mister reads the blog AND all my comments, so I’ll refrain. I’ll say that this is an awesome post and leave it at that. I can talk with him later about your hypothesis. 😛

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