The Thing No One Warns You About Before Having Children

There is a serious downside to having kids that NO ONE talks about.

No, I don’t mean the $$ that magically grows wings and flies out of your pocket, or the new-found need to drink…daily.  Or even the lack of, ahem.

What I am talking about is the silent yet suffocating and ever-multiplying BEAST that lurks in every corner of your home.

What I am talking about is the f-ing laundry!

It eats children. This is serious.

The more children you have, the worse the problem gets.  I was entirely unprepared for how unruly the beast would get when we said ok our third child.

If you are currently considering adding a 3rd…DON’T DO IT.

Laundry has taken over our lives.

The worst part is the way it steals my joy (the way the dryer steals my socks).  Take for example the beautiful weekend we recently enjoyed.  And by ‘we’ I don’t mean me…

Because while my family was enjoying the sunshine,

Being adorable. Planting a garden.

I was here.

In hell.

You say ‘laundry basket’, I say ‘laundry bastard’

When the kids came in from playing outside, I decided it was about time they got in on tackling the beast.  Afterall, it is THEIR FAULT I’m drowning.  So I handed them each a bastard basket of folded laundry and asked them to put it away.

They stared at me blankly.  “What do you mean mom? Isn’t it away?”


These guys don’t get much use these days.

So I finally make it to the end of my day.  The day spent slaying the beast with washing, drying, folding and putting away.  I want nothing more than to crawl into bed.

I open the door of my room only to find…


I’m haunted by the smell of dryer sheets.

Consider yourself warned.

15 thoughts on “The Thing No One Warns You About Before Having Children

  1. Dohoee…I thought I was helping when I fixed a washing machine! And to think my mother of 5 and the pile she must have seen.

    Papa Bear

  2. In our house the hubby does the laundry. However, by “does the laundry” I really mean he puts the clothes in the washer, pushes the button, puts the clothes in the dryer, pushes the button, and then throws it all in the basket and dumps it on the bed. I then spend HOURS under said pile trying to fold it all because he is a wreck at it (he can somehow manage to wrinkle un-wrinkled clothes just by attempting to “fold” them). He seems to think he got the shit end of the deal, but I beg to differ. FOLDING IS WAY WORSE THAN THE CLEANING part!

  3. Here’s how we tackled the laundry bastard: I do my own laundry, which means I wash, dry, fold and put away as soon as possible so that it is not wrinkled. My mister does his own laundry so whatever works for him — leaving it in the basket clean or dirty, on the floor, in the closet, whatever, I try not to notice or care. The nanny does the boys’ laundry and puts it away. Done! Of course once we no longer have a nanny we’re going to have to renegotiate the laundry issue (and the cleaning and lots of other things she does for us) but for now, we’re golden. Otherwise, I can imagine feeling the same way you do. 🙂

  4. Is it bad that I sometimes just buy more underwear so I can drink coffee and eat pancakes Saturday morning instead of doing the laundry?? In my eyes… TOTALLY WORTH IT!

  5. I HATE laundry. I just can’t stay on top of it. Add to the frenzy the fact that my husband DOES.NOT fold household laundry and we have a major issue on our hands. I have resorted to washing and drying stuff, plucking his stuff out of the piles and just throwing it on the floor of his closet. I have enough to do with keeping my kids’s stuff organized!

    1. Here’s what saved me with three. Keeping it all separate. Each kid has their own hamper & takes their own to the washing machine (or helps me do it). I hate the sorting, so that helps. Five year old C can do it from start to finish with minimal assistance. I didn’t say minimal whining 😉

  6. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for this post. I have the same F**&& problem. At least I am not the only one that has these piles, and they reproduce each week like warms, it’s a never ending routine….how can we make peace with it? Please, advice!!

  7. OMG yes! I manage to put the kids clothing away, but I have been living out of laundry baskets since my second was born.

  8. I think I need to start referring to it as the laundry bastard too. One of my favorite oft-used quotes (can’t remember who said it): After ecstasy, the laundry.

Share Some Comment Love

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s