Musings Over Starbucks

I am sitting in Starbucks at a loss for what to write about this week. Which is weird because I usually have plenty of stories to recount to you about parenthood as I am experiencing it. But my daughter stayed at my sister’s house for most of the week so she has all the stories about my daughter and I got nada.

So here I am at my local coffee shop doing my favorite thing – something that I haven’t done in ages – people gazing. In particular, I am staring in envy at a mom across from me. She is attractive, well put together, and TAN. In February. In Connecticut. What I wouldn’t give for a vacation somewhere on a warm beach right now! I also cannot believe my eyes at the angel baby, who I am guessing is no more than eight months old, sitting calmly in her lap for the past twenty-five minutes. I cannot help but compare this darling cherub to Mia when she was that age who never, EVER sat still. Hell, I can’t even sit still. I have already gotten up to go to the bathroom twice thanks to my grande Tazo tea! TMI, I know.

As I enjoy this rare, quiet moment, I do feel grateful for being a mom. But the working mom part? Sometimes it is so exhausting that I wonder if it would be easier to quit my career so I can spend more time with my daughter. When my brain starts thinking this way, I turn to my gut for reassurance and trust that I am doing the right thing by being a working mom.

Here is what I’m telling myself:

*I would be giving up a career that I love and worked really, really hard to achieve.

*My child needs a roof over her pretty little head. That also means sparing my husband the stress of being the sole provider for our family.

*My daughter needs a mentally healthy mother who interacts with adults on a regular basis. When I was home on maternity leave for eight months, I felt a bit lonely.

*My parents sacrificed so much so that I can have an education. I am ensuring the same for my daughter.

*Mia is doing amazing and doesn’t need her mother by her side 24/7.

*The work I do is meaningful and helps our family tremendously.

So now it is time for me to gather my things and head for home. I have dinner to prepare, a bath to give, and precious play and story time with my daughter. I leave here feeling beyond blessed and as I look over my shoulder before I walk out the door, I notice that baby is STILL sitting quietly and sweetly in her mother’s lap. Nonetheless, I cannot wait to get home to my crazy and fiercely independent daughter.

11 thoughts on “Musings Over Starbucks

  1. My son is two and is also a crazy and fiercly independant child. I also can’t help but look at others sweet, angelic children and think “What” is that for real. Or hear of a 3 week old who sleeps 6 hours thru the night and only cries when she’s hungry and wonder why they got so lucky. But then my little man does something adorable and loving and then simles that smile with those incredible dimples and I know I would not trade him for a anything. Thanks for expressing your feelings on this too and letting other moms know they are not alone. I have been struggling with this for way too long.

    1. I am so glad this post made you feel better about having an independent child! As hard as it is getting my daughter to stay calm and “chill” in a coffee shop or somewhere else in public, i am kind of in awe of her fearlessness. I hope it lasts into adulthood for her. And you are so right…out of nowhere she gives a snuggle or a kiss and I melt 🙂 These kids never cease to amaze!

  2. Haha Dena! You and I share the same DREAM! But I tell myself that the staying home but having a nanny would get old for me pretty quickly and make me a wreck who longs to work. I am so glad I am not the only who has a child who is “spirited” in public 🙂

  3. I often find myself musing over being a stay at home mom, but know that the kind I would like to be has UNLIMITED resources to do fun stuff, and have a nanny for those times I need to get out of the house… so…THAT’S not happening!

    Also, why is there and abundance of well-behaved infants and toddlers at Starbucks- until my crew gets there? I feel like I am missing something in the parenting department… or I missed the chapter on getting your kid to sit still while you sip a hot beverage!

  4. Loved this post! I sometimes think of what it would be like to stay at home but realize I would miss my work. I also do not feel comfortable with only one income especially in this tough economy.

    1. Yes! I am so glad you can relate and that you think about the same thing too. I know I am doing the right thing for my career and sanity 🙂

  5. What a great post, MG! Sometimes our kids give us our best material, and then sometimes we get it from just living our lives! You and your family are strong because of all you do! xoxo

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