Helping Husband Get Involved

First, before I disclose, I know that I am running the risk of my husband reading this, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Also, this post is really intended to be light, funny and not serious.

We’ve all heard about the movie, “How to Train your Dragon”, but I wish they made a movie on how to train the husband, particularly on how to deal with a pregnant woman and eventually a baby.

I will say that I am very fortunate to have a patient, caring husband who truly does put in the same amount of effort as me, in fact, sometimes, even more.  BUT, there were a few “tips” that helped along the way.

Multi-task”er” Daddy with Little Miss Maddie

Thus, I present you a few tips of how to “train” your husband:

  1. Get father involved early on. That means having them come to doctor appointments, tests, screenings, etc. Even if you don’t necessarily need them to go to each one, I still think it’s best to have them there to listen, observe and share his thoughts.
  2. Get father used to chores. Remember the days when you would bicker about who would Swiffer or vacuum, you think it was bad then – try adding being pregnant and eventually a baby. It’s a lot of work – so get them familiar with expanding beyond the Swiffer. Have him switch to laundry or doing the dishes. Change it up.
  3. Grocery shopping. I will admit I am at fault with this one. I like my bargain grocery shopping, coupons and doing it by myself, but when your 9 months pregnant or just had a baby it can and will be harder. To alleviate this, have your husband go with you grocery shopping early on, show him the deals you tend to look for, etc. It will take the pressure off and even if you don’t ask him to go shopping, knowing that he can do it on his own (yes men can do it on their own anytime, but they spend double and forget about half the items!) will take one more thing off your plate.
  4. Share the love of feedings. Switch back and forth on feedings. One time you feed, the other he feeds. Of course, if your breastfeeding it will be hard to have the father help, but have him then get the baby for you in the nursery, change the diaper or put her/him back to bed after the feeding.
  5. Baby Registry. Have him go with you to the stores you register at, just as you did with the wedding. Have him pick out a few items he wants, even if you don’t necessarily like them or need them. Let him feel that this registry is also his, because you know what – it is!  After you’re done, go through the items on your registry, explain to him how these things work, from swings, monitors and bottles, it can be overwhelming on how the heck to work them all.
  6. Hospital Stay. When you deliver, I would have him stay at the hospital overnight – some fathers go home to let the dog out, turn lights on or just get things ready and that’s fine –but at night have him stay with you. These are the very important days that bonding really matters.
  7. Meal Time. Have him make a meal once or twice a week after work. This will get everyone used to switching roles up a little bit. While he is cooking dinner you can feed the baby, do some cleaning or take the dog for a walk.
  8. Massage Time. No, sorry ladies it’s not about you on this one – it’s about the guy. Treat him to a massage once in a while, either by booking an appointment at a spa or giving him one yourself. It makes him feel appreciated and that his efforts are being noticed  🙂

What tips, tricks or secrets worked for you and more importantly, which ones didn’t? At the end of the day, yes its great to have a few ways to get your husband involved in the pregnancy and baby, but to be honest, you both have to have communicate and work together as a team.

2 thoughts on “Helping Husband Get Involved

  1. Such good points! Some we’ve always done, some I wish we had done. How the hell are you so wise as a first time Mama? 😉 ♥

  2. You are SO WISE to have learned this so early on, seriously. Looking back, I made a lot of mistakes, mostly about thinking “only mom can do this right” and just leaving my husband out of things I shouldn’t have. He’s really helpful, and great with the kids, but because I’m the mom I’ve taken on 99% of the kid-related stuff, and it’s exhausting. It’s really hard to un-do this later on if you don’t share things from the start! Great advice!!

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