Don’t Judge a Mom by her Outfits

I have  a crush on one of the mothers at preschool pick up. She’s always totally put together and has a smile on her face. She wears work out clothes most days but never looks frumpy. She manages to pull it off. Her hair looks great in a pony tail or a wool winter hat, she has different sunglasses based on what she’s wearing and I don’t think she wears any make up. She has three kids, two of which are under one year old and drives a HUGE SUV, because of course she wouldn’t drive a loser cruiser minivan. Her preschooler is just as put together as she is; always wearing khakis and fancy shoes. My kid on the other hand goes to preschool right from morning child care so most days he shows up with a milk mustache from lunch and marker all over his hands. Her whole family just looks so relaxed and fun. Most days I drive away wishing I could be just like her.

But then part of me remembers a conversation I had with someone over the summer. At a mutual friend’s birthday party, I ran into a therapist that used to run a playgroup I attended when Max was a baby. It was an Early Intervention/Birth to Three playgroup so it was the only place I felt comfortable at that time. It was the only place where all the other moms and all the other kids were just like mine. But once I left there, I was dying inside. I cried (ALOT) and was really, really lonely. I was really sad, and really confused and really wanted to be someone other than myself. But when I saw that woman this summer, she remembered me. She said she always remembered me because I was so put together. I seemed to have everything under control and was at peace with what was happening with Max. Secretly I felt proud that I had pulled it off. I guess to the outside world I looked pulled together.

Sound like someone else I’ve been talking about? So I guess the moral of the story is, just because someone looks put together and might resemble what I’d think Preschool Mom Barbie might be like, doesn’t mean she living in a dream house.

4 thoughts on “Don’t Judge a Mom by her Outfits

  1. Oh yes, I get it. I have two dear friends, that when I met them, I was SURE had it “all figured out.” Can you imagine my sheer and utter RELIEF when I saw or they confessed to me how often they struggle or lose it? And I’ve also been surprised what people say about me and how they see me! The truth is, as you say, NO ONE has it all figured out. Everyone has their own struggles. But I’m thinking perhaps being peaceful with the struggles/challenges and knowing they’re just a part of life is what makes one appear to have it all figured out or come across as put together….you think?

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