How Can I Be a Pro-Choice Mom?

How can I be pro-choice, and also be a mother… a mother of three none the less! I think this question has come up in my day-to-day life way more than it should sometimes.

Before I had children, I was a strong pro-choice advocate, with my views on abortion and reproductive rights shaped by my amazing mother who gave birth as a teen twice before Roe V. Wade, and of course my beautiful late sister.  Looking back on all the information, and opinions they shared with me over the years… I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.

I never thought I would be a mother, but life changed… things changes and my wants in life changed and led me on the path I am today. The motherhood path.

In 2007 I became pregnant with my oldest son, and it was a nightmare pregnancy, and birth. Anything that could have gone wrong, did!  (Just a side note, I would never go to Milford Hospital again… not even for a hang nail!)

I was high risk, had bi-weekly ultrasounds, and ended up with a c-section, in which the two OB/GYN’s delivering my son actually stabbed each other. No Joke!

Needless to say, it all really helped to re-shape my pro-choice views. It made them stronger.

I believe in choices. All kinds of choices. Pregnancy related choices, birth choices, parenting choices. Just choice all around. You do what works for you, and I do the same. Pretty simple right?

My difficult pregnancy made me realize that women should never be forced into a choice, like pregnancy and childbirth, unless it is something they truly want, are prepared for, and consent to. On a side note as well, consenting to sex is not consenting to pregnancy. I cannot imagine being forced to go through the ups and downs, emotions, mood swings, physical changes, swollen ankles, aches and pains, contractions, birth, especially surgical birth, when a woman did not wish to be involved in any of it from the get go.

There are so many more deep repercussions for women in that type of forced situation, just like those who are forced to abort, or forced to give their child up for adoption. And if you think none of that is happening in 2011 you are in for a newsflash!

Of course women that make the rash decision to abort before she has fully examined all of her options, and made an informed choice could really feel the same way, but that is another post in itself. Because I care about all women, not just those who agree with me.

My third child was not planned like my older sons were. When I found out I was pregnant I cried for days, probably weeks now that I think about it. But abortion never crossed my mind. Why?  Because it is not the right choice for me.  Was it hard? Is money tight? Yup!   But we made do, and that is all that matters!

Moral of this story? Being pro-choice does not make you pro-abortion, and it doesn’t mean you would even consider abortion for yourself.  While I was pro choice before, I am even more pro choice now, as a mother, by choice, of two amazing little boys, and a beautiful little girl who are all the light of my life. And I would welcome any other children in the future, because being pro-choice doesn’t mean being pro-abortion.

Shout out to all my pro choice moms!

4 thoughts on “How Can I Be a Pro-Choice Mom?

  1. Love your post, especially “being pro-choice doesn’t mean being pro-abortion.” I was the Executive Director of NARAL Pro-Choice CT for three years and during the second year I became pregnant and gave birth to my son. I believe being pro-choice means having choices on everything related to your reproductive health, including birth control, abortion, sex education, and childbirth. I think it is important for moms to speak up, so thanks again for the post!

  2. This is a great post… I often have to explain my pro-choice stance, especially to those people who say, “but you have children!?!” My pregnancies were planned, so their was no decision to be made. I’m not even sure if I could utilize the option of abortion, but that is not my decision to make for someone else.

  3. I was hoping someone would do an abortion post on here. I especially like the statement that consenting to sex is not the same as consenting to pregnancy. I hate hearing “if you have sex you should expect to get pregnant and welcome it because you brought it upon yourself.” The fundamental flaw in that argument is that it is a morality-based statement. If that happens to be the speaker’s morality, that is fine. But why that person thinks it is ok to turn around and impose that morality on ME just baffles me. Imagine if I walked around saying that all pregnant teenagers should have abortions, because it is morally wrong to bring a child into this world when you’re obviously too young or lack the resources to care for that child. Great post.

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